Breathe Me
by astridt244
Summary: One Shot for JBNP Autism Awareness - Non-Canon/AU - Ignored truths, dismissed feelings, and feeling your way through the dark is no way to live. Open your eyes, breathe, and listen to your heart...
1. Chapter 1

**_One Shot for the JBNP - Autism Compilation_**

**Author:** Astridt244

**Prereader:** LilyAurora

**Summary:** _Ignored truths, dismissed feelings, and feeling your way through the dark is no way to live. Open your eyes, breathe, and listen to your heart..._

**Pairing:** Jacob/Bella

**Genre:** Drama

**Rating:** T

_Parts of the conversation with Edward are from Breaking Dawn._

* * *

**Breathe Me**

* * *

Bella sat perfectly still in the low, pink chair in front of Alice. It was her wedding day. A day any woman should be ecstatic, thrilled, delirious over... she could not even manage a smile. A small part of last night's conversation, once again, settled in her thoughts...

* * *

_Edward stared out her bedroom window, the moonlight causing a faint sparkle on his skin. "Frozen forever at eighteen," he whispered. _

"_Every woman's dream come true," she teased._

_He seemed lost as he spoke. His words barely reaching her ears, "Never changing... never moving forward."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were... pregnant?" He answered slowly. _

"_What about it?"_

"_I just... I wish he could have been right. That you would have that option."_

_Her answer held no emotion, no conviction. It was rehearsed and automatic, "I know what I'm doing."_

_Edward's frustration seeped through his normally passive demeanor, "How could you know that? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine!"_

_Bella stood from her mattress and carefully made her way to him. He was agitated. She did not want him to leave for his last night as a bachelor like this. A small part of her, the one she ignored time and time again, began to wake... whispering the wrongs of the life she'd been leading. She needed it to disappear again, for her own sanity. _

_Leaning into his cold embrace, she breathed in the smell on his skin that was like a strong opiate. "Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it becomes a problem later... then we'll do what Esme did. We'll adopt."_

_He detached himself from her and stared intently at the dream catcher still hanging on her headboard. "It's not right... If I were human - or even if you were with Jac-"_

_The veil she survived under, the only aspect she counted on to dissolve painful memories, deteriorated. Her only emotion - rage. She put her hand over his frozen lips, "Stop! We both know it's too late for that!"_

* * *

Rosalie glided past the bathroom at that moment in her silver gown. She looked breathtaking. "They're back," she said.

Alice squealed in excitement; expressing more joy than the bride herself had mustered in the entire day. Rosalie glanced quickly at Bella, and squeezed Alice's shoulder. "Charlie and Renee are on their way up here. Why don't you get some drinks for us. We need to keep up appearances. Also, I think Bella's hair would look wonderful with some baby's breath."

Alice beamed and hugged Rosalie. "Weddings; they bring everyone together, don't they?" She turned to scold Bella, "I'll be right back. Don't move a muscle."

In a flash, she was gone - leaving Bella alone with the one coven member who hated her. Her bottom lip quivered. Rosalie should not be here. It only made her ponder things - a _different _life, a _different _man waiting for her at the altar...

Suddenly, a cold hand wrapped around her forearm and jerked her up off the hideous, pink chair. Bella shot a glare at Rosalie, "What do you think-"

She clasped her hand over Bella's lips, _"Shhh... Come on."_

Without preamble she mounted Bella on her back, opened the glass door to the balcony, and jumped onto the tree branch.

* * *

Bella's adrenaline pumped fiercely through her veins. She long gave up on attempting to communicate with the vampiress. The wind felt like ice shards against her cheeks, her legs burned with strained effort.

They came to an abrupt stop, causing Bella's insides to turn to gelatin. Rosalie lowered her, giving her time to gather her bearings, and whispered into the darkness, _"We're here."_

She turned and saw Emily's house. Sam trudged out the door, acknowledging the female vampire, "I don't know why you did this, but thank you."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes slightly, "There are those of us who did not ask for this life, who were forced without any say in the matter. In her own way, she has been violated as well. Watch out for her."

The older Cullen woman dashed to the trees, ignoring every protest and excuse coming from the human girl. _This had to be done._ No one in the Cullen coven remembered what it meant to be human, to live, to give life...

Emmett waited for his wife at the treaty line. When she caught his scent, she sped through the forest. They stood before each other, one on either side of the boundary line. He regarded his wife, taking in her disheveled appearance, "They are looking for her... and _you_."

"I couldn't stand by and do nothing," she defended.

"I know that, Rosie. Did you forget who stood with you at every women's rights rally? Who was with you for all the women's shelter openings? You could have told me."

She shook her head, "No, I couldn't. And I know you've always stuck with me. But this, Em? This was different. This wasn't political. She did not get the chance to choose. I may as well have murdered her myself."

Her husband ran his fingers through his dark curls, "Yeah, I get it..." he shoved his hands in his pockets, "so, what do we do now?"

Her windchime laugh made him smile. He'd missed it these past couple of days. She rushed into his arms, hugging him tight, "Now, she lives, and you and I move on."

* * *

Emily quietly placed a small cup of tea in Bella's hands. They were sitting in the kitchen, waiting for Sam to come back downstairs. The two were weary of one another, taking great pains to be civil. Emily fiddled with the cubes of sugar on the saucer, "Jacob is here."

Bella's eyes misted, her lip trembled with the urge to sob, "He is?"

"I'll let him explain. Just... please be careful with him," she urged.

The older Alpha bounded down the stairs, motioning for the girl to go up, "He's in the room to the right."

…

She stared at the door, desperately trying to breathe. She wanted to talk to him more than anything. She'd missed him immensely since he disappeared. _So why was she terrified?_

"I can hear you out there, Bells," his weak, rough voice startled her. She turned the knob, and gasped when she saw him. He looked pale, fragile, and was covered in blankets. She ran to his side, grabbing his warm hand.

"What happened to you?"

He coughed, all the while steadily shaking, "Don't worry about that. It's okay. It's better now that you're here... even if you're not here to stay."

She gazed at him, taking in every detail of his still handsome face, and relived her vision from their kiss. _The years passing by, those two beautiful children, and the home they made for themselves here in La Push. _

Jacob was talking to her, saying things, possibly refusing to believe she was here for anything other than to break him again. _Who could blame him?_ She'd done nothing right, all the while pushing aside her love, scrambling toward an eternity she no longer wanted.

"Bella! Are you listening to me?" Jacob raised his voice.

She let go... her bottled emotions overflowed, giving way to endless tears. She hiccuped and cried, _hard_, losing herself in her agony. Somehow, Jacob moved, taking her with him and blanketing her with his warmth, his care, and his limitless love.

* * *

Hours later, their limbs were still entwined. Jacob grazed her sides with his fingertips, in complete bliss to have her here with him. He didn't know why she came, what made this dream come true, and he never wanted it to stop.

"_Jake?" _Bella whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You look better. Not as weak, or pale... what... why were you like that?" He held his breath, contemplating on _how _to tell her, until she beat him to it. Bella always did have a way of knowing him, inside and out. She peered up at him, her soulful eyes searching his for truth, _"Imprint...?"_

He let out the oxygen in his lungs, "Yes."

She pressed herself against him, using what strength she had to close any distance between their bodies. "It won't be easy."

His rich chuckle floated through the tiny room. "It never is with us."

"There's a lot to talk about," she continued.

He placed his thumb under her chin, lifting her head, "It's worth it." Leaning down, he skimmed their lips together - testing... giving... tasting. Her eyes fluttered closed, relishing in finally being where she belonged.

* * *

_Thank you for reading. _


	2. Conversation and More

Do Not Own Twilight or its Characters.

* * *

**Short-Drabble-Smut**

_BreatheMe-AUverse!_

Conversation between almost lovers.

* * *

_The early morning light shines on their eyes. Ignoring the rest of the world, they lose themselves in one another..._

_He tenderly kisses her shoulder, "Can I touch you?"_

_She's nervous, he can smell it, but also excited, "Yes."_

* * *

"_Does this feel good?"_

_Breathless, panting, "Y-Yes…"_

"_Tell me where to touch. I want you to feel good, Bells."_

_Moves his fingers up, to where hers are circling her swollen clit, and gasps, "There… yes, there, slow… Jake," she whispers._

"_You're really here? With me? Letting me touch you?" disbelief clouds his rough voice, his fingers move, a contrast to his insecurity. _

"_I am… don't stop, please…" _

"_You came back to me," he breathes in deep, allowing her fragrance to touch his tastebuds, "... can I… can I try something?"_

_Her eyes are closed, teeth biting on her lower lip, "Mmmm…"_

_Taking it as an approval, he leans down, tracing his tongue along her pink, wet folds while teasing her sensitive nub with his fingertip. She jerks, moans louder. _

"_Oh, god…"_

_His lips, with her flavor smeared on them, kiss her belly button, "I like doing that… can I do it again?"_

_She nods, pushing him down, overcome with intense sexual need and frustration. He hums in appreciation, "Wish I would have known you tasted as good as you smelled…"_

* * *

"_I could stay here forever," drawing the hypersensitive clit into his warm mouth, he reaches up, caressing her breasts. _

_She shudders, sweat gleams on her stomach and neck, her back arches off the mattress, "Too… much…" she is hot, wanton, and incoherent. She wants to scream, cry, giggle. Jake... Her Jacob... Mine... Love... Oh, so good... _

_He slips his tongue into her, thrusting in and out, mimicking what he would love to be doing to her, "Let me… please… need you…"_

_She tumbles into another orgasm, letting it wash over her, drowning her in ecstasy. Ivory thighs forced open wider by large, tan hands; small fingers threading through his inky hair, urging and pushing at once. She is lost in this bliss, where nothing matters but the man worshiping her. _

_Her wedding dress lay on the floor, ripped, torn to shreds by the very hands that bring so much pleasure. The bed is stained with her honeyed essence. He rubs his face on it, his wolf relishing in the primitive act. They've wanted her for so long, waited too long… "We have all night, honey. I want you…" another flick of his wicked tongue, "Do you want me?"_

_She grips his shoulders, pulling him up to look into his ebony eyes, "I do. I want you," her body trembles with aftershocks, "... you make me feel…"_

_The animal within purrs, orders him to take, claim, sear his scent into her milky flesh. His erection pressed on her thigh, he asks, "Will you be mine?"_

_She breathes on him, her sweetness clinging to him deliciously, "I'm already yours…"_

* * *

No idea where this came from, or if there will be more. But, here it is. Un-preread. Rough. Posting as is. ;)


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